Depressed

Suddenly feeling very tensed and stressed up. I don't know what's wrong. I've been acting strangely. Like the way I eat the way I behave the way I feel, its all so different. Something is on my mind making me feel this way. Actually I know, I somehow know what's wrong. Mainly I think its cause of the India trip. I mean I am excited about it. But maybe because the departure date is so near, SO NEAR it scares me. I'll be away for 2 weeks, away in a country I know I won't get used to. A third world country. Being away from a place and people I'm familiar with, my family, :( I'm not even prepared to pack my bag. I don't know what to bring what should I prepare myself for. I'm really scared... To be honest.

I hope it'll really be fun and I'll really be able to get use to the things and everything there. Being scared is one thing though. I still really wana go there and experience life of a third world country. My life in Sg have been too good, too pampered. I feel so much better expressing how I feel!

Anyway recently the way I eat is seriously scary. Like I'll stuff food down my throat even if I'm not full, just to satisfy my cravings. I eat like I know I'll never grow fat, WHICH I WILL!! And I've got supa a lot of cravings these days. Its like as if subconsciously I know I'll suffer in India that's why I'm eating as much good food as I can now? Okay, totally stupid. JUST at least let me have enough sleep in India. This way everything won't feel so bad alr I think?

Okay, feeling better but there's like sth still bothering me inside. Anyway, haha there's seriously a contrast in mood for this post. K ciaoz!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.