To You

I feel that, this period I've alr done what I can do as a friend. Ever since you left Best Denki, when did you contact me on your own? I've always been the one taking the initiative to ask you out. I tried to understand you didn't take the initiative because you needa commit your time in school, bf and work. So I said nothing, and just kept putting effort to keep our friendship. But slowly, either you've been taking advantage or you are just not keen about keeping me as your friend anymore. I cherished you so much, I decided to give you some space on your own, hoping you'll realise what is actually wrong between us. But no, you didn't. Instead we drifted even further. Still, I said nothing. Ever since you've got your bf, I feel like I'm the only one committing in this friendship. You bothered to meet up with other friends, ask them out on your own, but me? You never bothered. Never even bothered to text me to ask if I'm okay. I don't know if whatever I do is right or wrong, but I'm just tired of always being the one putting effort and committing when no one appreciates. I trust you to be my best friend and to stand by me in all situations. I trust you to try to keep this friendship no matter how far we've drifted. But during this one month period, you've proved me so wrong. Fyi, its been one month since we contacted. And now even if I wana text you/call you I gotta think twice. I thought you know me best. No matter how other friends who left think of me, you'll not be the same because you understand me. But maybe I was wrong. You're not there to listen anymore.. Instead I gotta ask others what to do about our friendship. I don't like to hold on to such stuffz, because its a damn sad thing, but you should also know that no matter how I say I don't wana hold on anymore, I'll still hold on because I'm stubborn. But now, I really don't know what to do anymore. You mean so much to me, I thought you know. And maybe because you're having them back, I don't matter anymore.