I wonder why

I'm not good in words ive got so much to say to you you you you you all of you that means so much to me even if we dont talk anymore or even if you hate me or even if you're just right there by my side all the time i wana tell you that everyone single one of you means alot of me i hate it that i'm bad with words and im bad with expressing what i wana say in words its like ive got everything i wana say in my head but when ive got a chance to i screw it all up or i'll just summarise everything without saying the main point i dont like the fact ALOT that people come and go people do change because changes are just so irritating i dont like it argh and the worst is why do i feel so lousy all the time i know very well there is someone out there in a worse situation than me but i just cant stop feeling that im the lousiest i know very well that its all because i lack of a certain confidence in me but it sucks to know whats wrong and yet i cant do anything about it because THIS IS ME and i cant change it i just wish my child in future will be everything good and inherit nothing bad from me get all the good genes able to live the life i want im thinking a little too far and this contradicts my previous post fuck it its really damn pathetic your friends do not know how much you mean to them and yes im talking about myself bye

Whats my problem ewww